Over the last couple of years I have lost faith in my instincts and my ability to make choices where men and dating were concerned. Since I have gotten older...not old. I've become a person who reflects on my actions and outcomes. So naturally, since I say that d*ck is my kryptonite I decided to take the advice of the older and wiser in my life. Nice try on my part but I got an E for EFFORT

This all came up with the "NICE" guy I was dating for a couple of months. I have taken the advice of the older ladies of my life. When I mentioned his lack of masculinity they said that Small island men are different from men of Trinidad and Jamaica; they are softer. When I mentioned that he lacked drive, they mentioned his need for a strong woman. When I mentioned the absence of chemistry and initiative they said it was because he was shy. I listened to everyone for months and denied myself. I went to Jamaica came back thinking the warnings signs I was seeing were important enough for me to pay attention. Now Ladies if you experienced the following? Would you question what team he played for? Have you ever watched TV with a guy saw a cute actor mentioned that you thought he was cute and have that man tell you that he wasn’t and argue shortly afterwards on how that male actor wasn't cute? Or Have you ever watch a movie with a guy who was asking about the fabric and stitching of a dress that a female character was wearing. (Hmmm) Or better yet Have you mentioned your interest in buying a new two piece bathing suit and have him tell you the colours that will best compliment your skin tone. The only thing in my opinion was left for him to do was the double finger snap and for him to say something like GIRLFRIEND or FIERCE. I know that as women we are instinctual and we often disregard our feelings because of it? We have feelings that tells us that things aren't quite right, whether it’s about your relationship, family whatever? Honour your instincts and be true to yourself I have learned that anytime that you do you end up happy in the long run regardless of the outcome. I also remember that my instincts with men in my past weren't wrong I just didn't listen. Oddly enough knowing that gives me comfort. 7 Signs Your Man Is On The Down Low by J.L. King, a self-professed former down low man, gives signs a man might be on the down low in his book, On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of Straight Black Men Who Sleep with Men According to King, the seven signs your man might be on the down low are: He spends an extreme amount of time with his male friends. His bedroom appetite has decreased extremely. He’s really homophobic to the point in which he refuses to be around gay men. He has “overly feminine gestures.” He really enjoys giving and/or receiving from behind. He has been imprisoned for long stretches of time. He has multiple email addresses and phone numbers.