As time passes the people around me are getting more concerned about my single status. I have become the project of a few. This lady at my workplace who is really sweet decided that she would do her best to set me up with someone. I decided that I would entertain the idea because hell you never know and I have been trying the same routine for years so why not try something new.
She tried to set me up with her niece’s friend at her family barbeque. This way there would be group of people and an opportunity to do an initial meeting without great pressure. He was good on paper. University graduate, works in the community, an up in comer in the insurance field and a home owner. But through our conversation there was one not much of a connection, attraction for me was nonexistent and his general character as a person was a question for me so I decided to not pursue the set up any further.
I thanked her for the effort because I really had a great time which for me is not a common occurrence. I have a fear of being in groups of large people that I don’t know. She however was devastated by my decision and stated that if I can't be with someone I love be with someone who will love me. She also told me that he makes a lot of money and my life could be so much easier for me if I had someone who could support me. For me that proposal is equivalent to prostitution. To be in a relationship with someone for money morally for me is WRONG and I can never sleep with someone who I am not attracted to. THATS JUST NASTY.
She told me that I was destined to be a spinster which leaves me to my title DATING and settling. She swore that he was going to be the one for me. Clearly she is very dramatic but everyone is entitled to the idiosyncrasies. I also think that her fear of my permanent single status stems from her own unhappiness. She is in her 60’s and has never been married and has no children and has admitted to her regrets.
More in more the people that I see in relationships seem to settle. Now don’t get me wrong I realize that no one is perfect and all relationships have its faults. However, I think that relationships involve finding someone with faults that you can live with and a person that you love, with someone who loves you completely and does their best to support you. But where does the line between accepting flaws and settling separate? I know those women are settling for men who are not up to their lowest of standards because they are there. There is a fear of being alone and unfortunately having standards often mean you it may take you some time to find the right one for you. Let’s face it; it is a easier to find people with no quality and little depth; than it is to find a good person with class, morals and character. I believe there is a saying... nothing good comes easy and their right.
As per the words of CECELIA CAMPBELL-LIVINGSTON a journalist of Street Hype Newspaper
"Don't give yourself to everybody that comes your way because of lack of self-esteem and lack of good opportunities in front of you..... I encourage women to finally take a stand for themselves and truly decide what is best for them — even without a man by their side if it comes to that. Make your own money, don't say yes to every man that wants to be with you and never, ever lower your standards to suit anyone."
Set standards and stick to them. If you never do, why get angry when people treat you less than you deserve when YOU never set the bar.
BlackWomenSpeak.com
http://www.blackwomenspeak.com/speak/article.php/20100728181518203